In episode number GABF14 of The Simpsons, Bart leaves a foreign film and comments, “I was so bored I cut the ponytail off the guy sitting in front of us. Look at me, I’m a grad student. I’m thirty years old and I made $600 last year.” To this, Marge quips, “Bart! Don’t make fun of grad students! They just made a terrible life choice.” True Simpsons fans—of which mudphuds are many—may append one of the show’s bons mots: “It’s funny because it’s true.”

You’ve chosen the life of a mudphud. From now on, every sibling, parent, first cousin once removed, boyfriend or girlfriend, new guy or girl you try to pick up, fruit vendor on the corner, passenger in the airplane seat next to you, or medical school classmate to whom you extend the courtesy of explaining your status as a fellow in the (drumroll, please…) National Institute of Health’s Medical Scientist Training Program will, with a furrowed brow ask: “Wait… Why?”, oft followed with some waggery vis-à-vis the decade you will spend here. In fact, the original title of this part of the Guide—which I vetoed (though will only know whether successfully so post-publication)—was “How to Enjoy Your 10 Years Here”.

So how do you deal with this? Develop a sense of humor. Former mudphud Jeremy Poppers, whenever asked why it was taking him eight years to graduate medical school, would repartee, “I just want to be a really good doctor.” Of course, sharing such stories with your programmates helps too.

Well, enough of these life lessons. There are a few pointers that will help you get through.

The first: Be active. Be an active member of the NYUSoM student body, but especially of the MD–PhD Program. The Program spans students of many years. It does you a great disservice not to interact with them in the opportunities you have. Throughout the year there are many events both social and academic where you will find upperclasspersons who have just gone through what you will soon. It’s of great help to know mudphuds in the labs when you have questions about where you will rotate and which you will eventually join. Furthermore, being active makes the Program that much more enjoyable, knowing that you’ve helped shape it. Remember, you constitute about ten per cent of your class. Your voice counts. Don’t be afraid to bring up any ideas for events to your student representatives even if you just got here.

Be proactive. This is slightly different from rule #1 above. As a mudphud, you are both a medical student and a graduate student, but at the same time, neither. My eighth-grade algebra teacher Mrs. Ferrara would say, “This is not a spectator sport.” Mudphuds have requirements and deadlines that are specific to them, sometimes specific to a single student. As such, if you stand idly by, you may get overlooked, and it’s your responsibility to prevent that.

Some time before the summers in your first two years approach, contact PIs or the Director about which labs you want to join. Remind the PIs that you are a mudphud and that your rotation start and end dates may not coincide with those of graduate students.

When you join a lab, make sure you add yourself to the Sackler and any other departmental and program e-mail lists.

Find out before it’s time for class registration which courses are required your first graduate-student year and which ones are not. Sometimes it’s better not to join your journal club until your second year in the lab when you don’t have other class requirements. Find out what the thesis proposal deadlines and guidelines are, even if they seem years away.

Get an idea of what the available clerkship schedule is like before you go back onto the wards. You’ll have a better idea of when to choose your defense date.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even if you think it’s a stupid one. Feel free to bug the director of the program or your department about requirements and deadlines. You’ll always be better off knowing.

Pace yourself. The first two years, you are embedded in the medical school class. After this is when the fun starts. As a Ph.D. candidate, you are very much autonomous. While your PI and thesis committee are there to guide you, it’s really up to you what gets done how and when. Mudphuds obtain their Ph.D. degree in about four to five years, but this has varied, a number the result of an equation whose variable values are as unknown as those of the Greenbank Equation. The only thing that will come quicker by working to exhaustion is a trip to the Student Health Center. By the same token, you don’t want to become what my PI Joel Belasco affectionately refers to as a “career student”. Put in your hours as necessary, but go home half-an-hour before you go crazy.

Enjoy yourself. I’m going to have to say it: You are going to spend a long time here. You’re living in New York City, and some New Yorker ethnocentrism is well deserved. You’re also going to spending your roaring twenties as a mudphud. Take time to enjoy what is being offered. The medical school has hundreds of student clubs to pique any interests you have, and even those you didn’t know you had. Take time off and travel, either to another borough or another country. Murray Hill is great for it offers everything with walking distance, but it’s very easy to get trapped within the two-block radius around NYUSoM, what my friend and former classmate Marzban Rad would call “the compound”. Make it a point to leave the compound at least once a week.